November Mixtape: Sad Hulk's Car Jamz

HULK: HULK VULNERABLE! PUNY LADY SMASH HULK HEART! HULK MAKE MIX CD TO LET HEALING BEGIN! YOU COME ALONG FOR RIDE WHILE HULK VENT HURT FEELINGS! HULK'S SMARTCAR HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM! HULK SAVING PLANET! BUT WHO SAVE HULK?

Song #1: "Who Is The Silliest Rossi?" - Bird Nest Roys
HULK LOVE UPBEAT SONG. PUT HULK IN GOOD MOOD! LA LA LA LA!

Song #2: "Sea Of Heartbreak" - Don Gibson
Song #3: "Goodbye Baby" - Jack Scott
HULK NEED MOMENT. (SIGH) HULK LYING WHEN HULK SUGGEST HULK CAREFREE. HULK IN PAIN, PUNY HUMAN. HULK-SIZE PAIN.

Song #4: "Life's Little Ups and Downs" - Charlie Rich
Song #5: "Withered & Died" - Richard & Linda Thompson
HULK NEED HUG. BUT HULK CRUSH ALL WHO TRY TO HUG HULK. HULK FACING CONUNDRUM.

Song #6: "Please Don't Leave Me Lonely" - Kelly Hogan
Song #7: "Love Letters" - Ketty Lester
PUNY WOMAN NEVER LIKE HULK CALL HER PUNY. HURT HER PUNY FEELINGS. THEN SHE, SHE HURT HULK MIGHTY FEELINGS. NOW HULK PUNY! ONLY ON INSIDE! STILL MIGHTY ON OUTSIDE! HULK STILL MIGHTY HULK WHERE IT COUNT! NOT TALKING ABOUT PENIS!

Song #8: "I'll Always Know" - Merle Haggard
Song #9: "Who's Been Talking" - Howlin' Wolf
Song #10: "Crazy With Love" - George "Bongo Joe" Coleman
(SIGH) HULK NOTHING BUT FARCE. SONG TELL HULK ABOUT UNIVERSAL PAIN. HULK WANT TO SMASH! BUT HULK CANNOT SMASH WHAT IS WITHIN ALL OF US. HULK MAY READ 'DIANETICS.' HULK FRIEND THOR ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT IT.

Song #11: "Bicycle Built For Two" - John Fahey
Song #12: "Fater" - Richard Buckner
HULK WEEP MIGHTY TEARS! NOT PUNY TEARS LIKE HUMAN! HULK NO CRY LIKE BABY! DON'T LOOK AT HULK RIGHT NOW!

Song #13: "Blue" - The Jayhawks
Song #14: "Revenge" - Danger Mouse & Sparklehorse with The Flaming Lips
HULK REMEMBER WALKS ON BEACH, SWEET NOTHINGS AT BEDTIME. HULK THINK OF WORDS OF JAMES WRIGHT, WHOM HULK STUDY WHILE WORKING ON MASTER'S FROM NEW COLLEGE: "DEAD RICHES, DEAD HANDS, MOON/DARKENS,/AND I AM LOST IN BEAUTIFUL WHITE RUIN/OF AMERICA." HULK VERKLEMPT.

Song #15: "How Will You Love Me?" - Nina Nastasia & Jim White
HULK GROW WEARY OF WHINING. BUT HULK NOT READY TO HULK UP AND FACE REALITY. HULK WANT PUNY LADY BACK, BUT HULK ALSO WANT TO SMASH HER! BUT HULK NO WANT COURT-ORDERED AGGRESSION COUNSELING AGAIN!

Song #16: "Am I That Easy To Forget?" - Lee Hazlewood & Ann-Margret
AAAARGH! THIS SONG MAKE HULK ANGRY! HIT FAST-FORWARD BUTTON! YOU REALLY WOULDN'T LIKE HULK WHEN HULK ANGRY!

Song #17: "Isn't Life Strange?" - The Clientele
NOOOOOOOO! AAAAARGH!

Song #18: "Bright Side" - The Soft Pack
Song #19: "Touch Senstitive" - The Fall

Banner: Hey, I'm Bruce Banner. That whiny bitch Hulk still going on about what's-her-face? What a pussy, huh? What's he playing here, his mix tape of crybaby shit? Big green pussy-whipped bitch. I swear, one day I'm going to toss this thing and load this stereo up with some real music. By which I mean hair metal from the 80s. 'Cause, who doesn't love a power ballad, am I right? Jesus, listen to this shit. Hulk is such a Pitchfork wussyboy.

Song #20: "Love Goes On!" - The Go-Betweens
Song #21: "How Can You Be So Beautiful?" - Club Wig

Anyway, my plan is to hit all the right clubs to get into some strange tonight. You ready for the nonstop action that comes with being my wingman? I have picked up a few tips on how to make the ladies go crazy for you from that tv show about how to make the ladies go crazy for guys. Only one rule! But it's a firm one: no fucking Arabs. I hate those terrorist camel-lovers, am I right? We should have let Cheney bomb that place back to the Stone Age when we had a chance! Ha! That would have been totally awesome. Hey, I heard this hilarious fucking joke about wetbacks on Jeff Dunham the other nigh---- AAARGHH, NO! NOT YET! NOOOOOOOO!

Song #22: "I Remember Me" - Silver Jews
Song #23: "Can You Whoop It?" - The Dexateens
HULK: HULK SORRY ABOUT THAT! BANNER GO CRAZY AFTER 9/11. WATCH FOX NEWS ALL DAY AND BUY GIRLS GONE WILD VIDEOS! HULK FEEL SORRY FOR BANNER! BUT HULK ALSO HATE BANNER! BANNER RACIST! CALL HULK 'BOOGER JOCKEY'! WHAT THAT ABOUT? HULK NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

Song #24: "Love, Love, Love (Everyone)" - Akron/Family
HULK TREAT HEARTBREAK AS LEARNING EXPERIENCE. HULK FRIEND CAPTAIN AMERICA SAY WHAT DON'T KILL HULK MAKE HULK MORE MIGHTY. NOTHING KILL HULK! THAT WHY HULK MIGHTIEST OF ALL! HULK SMASH PUNY FEELINGS!

Song #25: "Bein' Green" - Rowlff The Dog
WHY HULK END WITH THIS SONG? IT SADDEST SONG OF ALL! HULK SO STUPID SOMETIMES! WHY HULK HOOK UP WITH PUNY HUMAN LADY IN FIRST PLACE? HULK NO NEED WOMEN TO BE ANGRY-HAPPY! HULK JUST NEED SUMMER DAY AND PUNY THINGS TO SMASH! HULK PERSPECTIVE ALL SKEWED! THIS MAKE HULK ANGRY! HULK SMASH PUNY SMARTCAR! HULK SMASH PUNY MIXTAPE! HULK--- AAAAAARGH! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO!

Banner: Hey, I'm back! And I brought spray-on tan for everyone!

Bonus disc: SAD HULK'S BONG HITS

1. "Message" - Boris
2. "Divinations" - Mastodon
3. "Godspeed (Edit)" - Earthless
4. "Holy Tears" - Isis
5. "Death Goes To The Winner" - Harvey Milk
6. "Rise To Glory" - Earth
7. "Sun Stoned" - Spirit Caravan
8. "Spaceship Broken-Parts Needed" - Pelican
9. "Healer" - Torche
10. "Holy Mountain" - Sleep
11. "Bhimas' Theme" - Om
12. "On Form And Growth" - Turing Machine
13. "Wailing Wintry Wind" - Baroness