Dear 2009,

While I have to agree with the voices who say that you weren't the worst at your job, I'm afraid that even when taking all of the positives on your resume into account, we cannot discount the frequent black marks against your performance.  On a sheerly personal level, I know your kindness every time I hear my children laugh, and please don't get me wrong: I treasure this.  But I also know your cruelty in the inexplicable health problems I've faced this year, in the suffering and death of those near and distant, and especially in the impending darkness always whispering Collapse! into the ears of all of humanity.  I can hardly blame you for time and human nature, it's true.  However, Time and Human Nature are not up for review at this time, and you, you see, are.  Therefore, it is with deep disappointment in your inability to counter the worst in your colleagues that I must decline to give you the recommendation that you quite possibly deserve.  Security is waiting outside to escort you off of the premises.